Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
