Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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