Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
