i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
