they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
