JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
