I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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