Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
