Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Still dying that you shit outside
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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