Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
