if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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