The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
