I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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