Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
