i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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