She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
