yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
