decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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