The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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