glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
