i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
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So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
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After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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