dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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