he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
