I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
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So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
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Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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