i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ketchup is God's man juice
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize