I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
