She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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