I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
