Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
