New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I need a beard to bite.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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