How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I believe in your delicious
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
