i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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