i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
