I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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