so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
