before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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