i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize