I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
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Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
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I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I lost the right to judge tonight
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