Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize