3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
