If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
