You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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