I just saw a hot homeless man
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
