After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Someone signed my nipple.
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