Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
