he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
