i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.