i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.