The maid of honor just puked.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.