you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
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i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
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He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.