My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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