Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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