Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
