ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
