Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
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did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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