Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
