SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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