so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
