yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
