he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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