no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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