I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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